Inner Sun, Inner Sense, Innocence

Musings on Self Belief, Curiosity, and Unburdening Ourselves from the Outdated

A lot of us carry the word “Should” like a bag of bricks.

I shouldn’t be like this, I shouldn’t eat that. I shouldn’t think like this, or say that right now.

And yeah, I get it. Sometimes there is an unspoken, yet universal code of ethics that contributes to the harmony of the Earth, the Universe, and all the beings in between.

And sometimes… these are the narratives we’ve adopted from our families and communities that don’t necessarily support our inner visions, but rather suppress or distort the original vision to conform or be accepted by others as valid. Reasonable, digestible, and honorable.

A butterfly kissed me on my belly while I was lying down in my favorite spot in Central Park. I had been unwinding from my workday, reflecting on a wound that had been lingering within me, stirred up by a recent event that reminded me of past pain.

A wound of not being properly seen, and when I am, being abandoned, ignored, left without a trace. A wound of receiving attempts from others at dimming, undermining, controlling, or oppressing my essence simply because it’s true expression causes a riot within the receiver, a beckoning to the deepest parts of them that they may have never touched, accepted, or reconciled.

For a long time, I absorbed these reflections, and responded in a self-depreciating way. I didn’t know the power that was present in this expression. The purification this gifted to another, the permission to desire without shame, unravel without guilt. I didn’t recognize that in my expression, I was giving another an opportunity to remember their wholeness. Their light AND their dark, and the ways in which they continuously dance in this life.

When this butterfly kissed me, I couldn’t help but smile. It’s been my wish to be touched by a butterfly, I can’t remember if I ever have before. I watched this butterfly dance for 10 minutes, and when it finally touched me, I felt awe.

“You can trust yourself now. You can be confident now.”

Those are words that best describe the feeling that this butterfly’s touch gifted to me. Did it know I had been praying for my confidence and willpower (solar plexus) to receive the healing, protection, and anchoring of the Creator for the past couple of months now? Did it know that I have been intentionally taking steps to rebuild my ability to trust my self and my own power?

How did it know, and what called it to my BELLY, of all places?!

For those of you who don’t know, the solar plexus is the 3rd point in an ancient energetic system known as THE CHAKRA SYSTEM. In English, we call it the Solar Plexus, but in Sanskrit, it’s called “Manipura”. This chakra is the point that has an effect on our self-esteem, confidence, ability to make decisions, assert ourselves, and bring forth our creations into the world.

This is our INNER SUN.

This chakra receives the strongest activation between the ages of 14-21, which funnily enough, are the very years where we begin experiencing the largest levels of insecurity or worry around how we look, present, and matter to the world and the communities around us.

It’s also the years in which we tend to lose our innocence. We are pressured to know what it is we wish to do and be in the world. To start thinking about what career we will choose in order to make it in the world, and provide either a solution, a tether, or a freedom to our family/society expectations.

The only reason we tend to lose our innocence (especially in Western societies) is simply because the society no longer values the human being contributing to humanity, but rather the human being contributing to the current societal construct.

We begin to lose our inner sense of self, and are left open to the field of distortion. If we don’t have proper guiding compasses in our community, this quite literally feels like being placed in shark-infested waters.

For example:

• You remember since a kid, you’ve always wanted to be an artist, but in these years society, family, or your teachers tell you that an artist is always starving in this world, and you’re better off studying Engineering.

• You know deep down that what you want to do after you graduate is to travel the world, but everyone says that’s crazy and you need to be thinking about what college you want to lock into.

• You enjoy dating and being a lover, but get judged and ridiculed, even called lost or a hoe, thought you’ve never done anything sexually risky or daring.

There are so many things that begin to prey on your innocence, inner sense, INNER SUN, at this age. This is in attempt to redirect you from knowing that you truly have the power to create anything in this life. By staying connected to this innocence while also applying the practical tools necessary to navigate the current system in place, you can create a solid trajectory towards the dream YOU wish to create.

Not anyone else’s dream. YOURS.

So, here’s my call to action.

Go back in time, and ask your 14 year-old self what excited them the most about life.

• What sparked your interests?

• What were the little moments of joy that entertained you the most?

• What aspect of your life held the most impact every time you participated in it?

You’ll find that it wasn’t just one thing, but a string of things interweaved together that was led by your inner sense.

And yes, we grow and evolve. There are parts of us that change. But the foundation that lies within our innocence will ALWAYS remain the same.

Go deep, remember your why, and always know that the light you seek is already within.

With Love,

Etiange <3